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We survived 900km with two kids and a cooler that would not shut, so I promoted the trip to cinema. One photo by the loaded car, title in the box — I wrote SNACK STOP 3 — and it came back looking expensive: the four of us walking away from the hatchback like it might explode, roof box glowing like it contains the plot. My daughter asked when parts one and two come out. There are no parts one and two. Tweak: 'make it an indie festival drama' and it wins awards instead.

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