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Every man my age has scored an overhead kick. It simply happened before phones, in a park, with nobody watching — we've all agreed not to question each other. Now there's evidence: same park, same sky-blue shirt, same scuffed ball, but I am horizontal two metres up, mid-scissor, and the keeper (a bin) has no chance. The grass divot is real. My son laughed for a full minute and then asked me to do it again. Tweak: 'top corner, keeper frozen'.

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