Photograph your kitchen, rank your pots and pans on the weapon-ranking list

Took a shot of my stove and want it ranked like a wuxia novel's 兵器谱. The items on the list are actual cutouts from my own photo—not drawings. My twelve-year-old cast iron wok ranks first with the comment "heavy, dull, blunt-edged, yet draws blood with every strike." The soup ladle sits dead last: "all show, no substance."