You, choosing yogurt at the supermarket, shot as a master verifying a vintage

Eighteen years running this shop, and every one of you holds a yogurt cup up and studies it like an auction-house expert. So I made it official: same aisle, same yogurt, but now white gloves, one appraisal spotlight from above, the solemn face of a master confirming a legendary vintage. I printed the regular kid's one and taped it to the cooler; he performs it on every visit. Tweak: 'add an assistant holding a silver tray' for full ceremony.