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Gym five days a week and I still hand every jar straight to Priya. This is her poster now: 1920s stone-litho circus style, one arm up holding the pickle jar overhead like a cannonball, her own grin dead centre, THE MIGHTY PRIYA in big circus letters, OPENS EVERY JAR underneath. A remix of the trophy template — same energy, louder format. Give it to your jar person; they will hang it, they know what they are. Tweak: 'she is lifting the family fridge' escalates correctly.

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