How long has dad been asleep? Measure it in objects.

Dad went down at two. By the time I ran this, the household had been busy: remote on the chest (his own doing), then a cup, a banana, a small plant, a sock pyramid, and the cat installed on top like a summit flag — every item balanced with growing confidence while he sleeps through it, same open mouth, same hanging arm. Nothing about him changes; that's what makes it forensic. Tweak: 'add the second cat' if the summit is claimed.